Take the Detour
A detour to Sleepy Hollow, a 2005 study on mystery and mood, and why the best part of a birthday might be the surprises that come after it.
Eli2 min read
My wife and I live an hour or so away from Sleepy Hollow. A cozy town with an unexpectedly pleasant promenade along the river. And yes, much of the town’s identity follows from the Headless Horseman statue haunting Broadway through the elm-studded cemetery.
We had detoured off the highway because the name on the exit sign beckoned with adventure. Halloween was not too far off, and it seemed the perfect time.
There’s a funny thing about detours: they often turn into the main event. Our plan was to spend a few minutes, take in the scenery and then get back on schedule.
We walked as much of the town as we could. We saw the tombs of patriots, a lighthouse winged by the river gleaming with sunset, and had a satisfying but admittedly mediocre pizza. I remember this afternoon better than most.
Mystery makes for a good time
In 2005, Timothy Wilson, Daniel Gilbert and their colleagues handed people in a university library a card with a dollar coin attached. It came from "The Smile Society," a group that didn’t exist. Some of the cards explained who the group was and why they did it. The rest left it a mystery.
The people who didn’t know why stayed in a good mood longer. Not knowing kept them pondering the mystery and their good fortune.
The paper’s subtitle is "Prolonging Positive Moods in Ways People Do Not Anticipate." Just because we can know what will happen doesn’t mean we should. Modern life emphasizes knowing things before they happen. There is endless delight in waiting in the unknown.
Celebrations are the highway
Most celebrations run on a schedule. You know the date, you know who’ll show up, and you can guess most of what they’ll say. Lovely to be certain, but what if there’s a better way?
The highway has its place. It’s how everyone who loves you gets to the same spot at the same time. But by the next morning, the candles are blown out, the confetti’s swept away, and in a few days the memory starts to get hazy.
Building in the detours
That’s the idea behind WithLuv. Celebrate the day, but also make sure that the future holds love and surprises.
WithLuv recipients can expect the unexpected: a tender message at the end of a hard workday, a funny memory from your high school bestie, or even a surprise bouquet bought by the love of your life. It’s the Smile Society card, sent by people who actually know you.
Picture that future Tuesday in February. A text from your college roommate about the time you both got lost driving to a concert. It’s a guarantee that the rest of the day goes a little better.
Take the exit
We got back on the highway that evening, a few hours behind schedule and in no rush about it. (I’d make that trade again, mediocre pizza and all.)
Someone you love has a birthday coming up. Give them a few detours. It’s free to create.